How DID They Get Acquainted, ANYway?
by DazMistressOfMercury
Summary: Iiiit's baaaaaack.. Some of you may recall the first version of this. Well, I made minor changes, and it's better now. This is an AU of how Dib, Daz, Lin, and Zim met. [-Unfinished-]
1. Chapter One: The Bus Ride

How DID They Get Acquainted?

Chapter 1: The Bus Ride

Hi there. Yes, it is I, Creator-Daz. I have returned, if only for a little while. I decided to rewrite this AU fic, because some people seemed to really like it, but I couldn't stand how I'd written it the first time. I'm an effin' perfectionist, leave me alone.. xP Anyhow, I don't own Invader Zim or Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I own my character-self, Pur, Lin, and my Dib spin-off. I also own my fan-classmates, my fan-bus driver and my fan-teacher. Chapter one is told partly by Daz, partly by Dib, partly by Zim, and partly by Lin. Go read now.

Daz

I finished packing the last of my clothes in my suitcase. Sighing, I closing the locks, and thought again about how this trip was going to suck majorly. It was a mandatory field trip for all of Ms. Kilah's [pronounced KILL-ah] class. We would also be going with another class, whose teacher was Ms. Bitters. I knew this camping trip was going to be torture, as it was a whole weekend long, and in a forest. It was extraordinarily vexing, because number one, I would to miss a Swollen Eyeballs meeting. Two, I seriously disliked the outdoors since I was an electromaniac, and loved to play with electricity. Three, I was one of the outcasts in the class. The other would be Lin, my sworn enemy. 

Lin is a were-wolf, and I am a video-game-loving, mentally unstable, paranormal investigating inventor who can shoot balls of electricity from my fingertips. You do the math. Anyhow, I'm always made fun of by my peers for my.. Odd.. Personality, and I can hardly imagine spending a whole weekend with those imbeciles without killing them, much less another class of them. 

"Master, we're gonna miss the bus." Said Pur, my SIR unit and loyal companion, as she poked her head into the room.

"Huh? Wha- oh.. Right, you go get your disguise on, I'll be there in a second."

Turning the travel case on its side, I picked it up and with the disguised Pur by my side, I rolled it along to Skool, where the rest of my classmates had already gathered. We didn't have to wait long before the bus had arrived, and the driver, Mr. Kizmabut [pronounced KIZ-mah-butt], was, as his name implies, scratching his rear as he opened the bus door. I took a seat in the front right-hand side, resulting in everyone moving to the left-hand side. Pur stood up in the seat and hissed angrily at the kids, until I pulled her back down, casting a glare back at Lin, who was also sitting on the right-hand side of the automobile.

The bus then came to a halt in front of another Skool, and opened the doors for Ms. Bitters' class. The kids in that class could automatically tell that Lin and I were on the other side of the bus for a reason. All but two, that is. A boy wearing a unique outfit, including a trench coat, which surprised me, and a green child. I instantly knew something was odd about the green one. I mean, hey, he was GREEN. These two boys sat on the right-hand side, while their classmates crammed in with my classmates on the left-hand side. [It's a big bus, you see. Usually used for transporting sumo wrestlers and such.]

I turned in my seat to get a good look at the green boy. He was wearing a red dress-like thing and had a green dog with him. He glared at me, and I glared right back. Idiot. I figured he might be an alien, and I couldn't let him and Lin get together, or Earth would be doomed to a horribly doom-y death.

Dib

I couldn't believe my rotten luck. I was stuck on a mandatory, weekend-long camping field trip with all of Ms. Bitters' class and some other class. At least Zim was forced into going too. I was on the bus when I noted that there were already two girls sitting on the right-hand side of the bus. Outcasts, I correctly guessed. 

I turned in my seat, glaring at Zim, until I noticed something about the girls from the other class. One looked almost a lot like me, and the other had red eyes and what appeared to be fangs. I looked quizzically at the one who looked like me, for she was also glaring at Zim. Maybe she KNEW! Maybe I wasn't the only paranormal investigator in the area..

Then I noted her pet rabbit. Something about this girl wasn't right, as her pet was dark purple and black, and wearing the outfit of the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Rabbits aren't normally dark purple, just as dogs aren't normally bright green. Was she an alien? She didn't have green skin, but she could be wearing makeup, or using a hologram like that stupid Tak did.. 

I turned my attention to the other girl. She had light brown skin, and was wearing black overalls over a blood-red turtleneck, and light brown hair. Her fangs glistened in the sunlight streaming through the window beside her, and I could tell she was SOMETHING paranormal. As we pulled into the parking lot of the registration area for the camping grounds and Ms. Bitters got out, I had about a bazillion questions running through my head. Who was the look-a-like girl? Why did she have a purple and black White-Rabbit-dressed pet? Was the other outcast human?

Zim

Stupid, moronic human stink-beasts! Them and their "camping trips"! I glared at the worm-monkeys on the opposite side of the human transportation unit. Then I noticed the other meat-bags on MY side of the bus. Aside from the Dib, there were two others; females. I admit, I was caught slightly off guard when I saw one of them, who looked remarkably like the Dib, glaring at ME! THE ALMIGHTY ZIM!

I glowered at the human, but she didn't stop. I turned away to get Gir off the window so the humans wouldn't get suspicious. It was then I became conscious of the other dirty monster on my side of the bus. She appeared to be different from the rest somehow. She was scowling at the other earth-children, and appeared to not like them.

Maybe she wasn't a human after all.. I sat back down in my seat on the filthy bus, glaring at the Dib, who was seated near the front.  Gir was pressing his face up against the window again, but this time I ignored it. If the brown-female wasn't human, there was a slight possibility that we could join forces. Then we'd take over Earth much faster, and I'd get rid of her and claim this mud-ball for Irk! Yes, that would work fiiine.. Well, hopefully it would turn out better than operation Ultra Peepi..

Lin

I searched through my backpack for my discman, doing my best to ignore Daz's glares. That stupid mortal was always on my case. I mean, what's a werewolf to do when some pesky human is following her every step? Annoying as hell. Her and her stupid little robot…

I gave up the search, remembering the desired equipment was in my suitcase, which was in the luggage compartment on the huge bus. Great. For the first time, I looked up at the others on my side of the bus. Daz, a pale boy who looked kinda like her, and a green kid. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought that the pale boy was Daz's brother, as they looked so much alike.

Then, I almost laughed when I saw that the green child was staring at me, Daz was staring at the green child and the other boy was staring at Daz. It actually looked pretty odd. The bus had just come to a halt, and the mortal children were leaving the bus. After the "normal" ones left, next was the boy, then Daz, then the green one and I was last. I jumped off the steps, taking in the green scenery. One thought crossed my mind as I stared at the dull green trees and shrubbery of the forest: This weekend is gonna suck.

Review or I shall hunt you down and tell my cat to eat your face. D I kid you not.


	2. Chapter Two: The Hike and Many Misinterp...

How DID they get acquainted?

Chapter 2: The Hike and Many Misinterpretations

Still own and don't own the same stuff, I don't wanna say it again. Told in same format, yae.

Daz

I hopped down the steps from the bus, Pur following close behind. I glanced at my surroundings. Ugg, so.. Bright.. All sunny and.. Yeesh. Anyhow, soon as we finished reclaiming our baggage, Ms. Bitters and Ms. Kilah began instructing everyone to follow them. We all trudged up a steep hill, looking for a good spot to set up camp. I noted that we'd pretty much stayed in the order of which we'd left the bus, meaning it was the teachers, the skool-kids, that boy with the same coat as me, me, Pur, the green kid, his dog, and Lin. The pale kid had only a backpack, like Lin, but where hers was red, his was blue. I quirked an eyebrow in surprise upon noticing the green one wore a backpod thing like mine. I didn't even know where I got mine from, I just know I've had it for as long as I can remember. I shrugged it off, figuring maybe I'd ask him about it later.

It looked like it was going to be a rather long walk, so I glanced at the Pur, nodding. She nodded back, and bolted into the forest. Within seconds, a large explosion ensued. While the others were occupied with staring at it, I pushed a button on my suitcase, which shrunk small enough to put in my backpod thing, which I'd disguised as a purple backpack.

Quite a nifty invention of mine, that suitcase.. Did I mention I'm an inventor? If not, I'm an inventor. Pur returned shortly thereafter, in one of her very pleasant moods, because I rarely left my labs, and she was glad I was actually outside. She started running ahead, then running around me in circles. This continued for a while, until she ran straight into the green kid's dog. Both fell backwards on impact, but then they grinned. Then, something so shocking happened I very nearly choked. It talked.

"HIIII!!" It screeched in a high pitched voice.

I looked around quickly, but the four of us outcasts were so far behind that we were the only ones to hear it. Then something bad happened. Something very, very bad.

"HIIII!!" Pur replied in a voice just as shrill, mood overcoming her COMMON FREAKING SENSE chip.

I noticed the pale boy's jaw drop. 'Shit, man, what a great weekend THIS is gonna be.' I thought angrily. Exchanging shocked looks with the green boy, we both dove forward and snatched our "pets". Lin stared at the green one, as the other boy stared at me. 'Should I kill them? No, I don't know if evidence will point to me, I'll be stuck in this godforsaken hellhole for the weekend.. I'll have to make an excuse..' I thought to myself quickly. 

"Whatha hella you lookin' at?! I was.. PRACTICING VENTRILOQUISM! YES!!"

I dashed away from them as fast as I could, shuddering, because I'd just said the word "ventriloquism". Fun fact, I have severe Automatonophobia. As I ran, Pur clutched in my arms, I made a mental note that I would either have to kill those two boys later, or just avoid them as best I could for the next couple days.

Dib

I KNEW that girl wasn't normal! She had a TALKING RABBIT! She MUST be an alien! After she ran off, Zim said,

"He's a… MAGIC DOG! BEHOLD THE MAGIC DOG!"

I knew he was only saying that to try and get the other girl to believe it, but by the look on her face, I doubt she did. Then Zim dragged his dog after the alien-girl, leaving me and the brown-haired one. I narrowed my eyes at her, still not sure if she was human, but then a horrid thought struck me. Zim was going after the other alien! If they teamed up, well, let's not think about that, shall we? I turned and ran after the two, hoping they hadn't already joined forces.

Zim

Sweet mother of Irk that was close. How did that human's rabbit-thing speak? And with such resemblance to Gir.. How did she get a bunny so ADVANCED?! Hmm.. Then again, that one probably WAS stupid, unlike Gir. I finally arrived at the "camp ground" all the stink-beasts were speaking of, but that strange human and her pet were nowhere to be seen.

I wasn't really worried about the Dib seeing Gir speak, because he'd seen Gir and I out of our DISGUISES before, but STILL couldn't get anybody to believe him. Heh, foolish earthenoid.

But what of that other girl? She seemed more surprised at Gir than at the rabbit.. Why? Did she already know of the other female's pet? Maybe they were allies… Maybe they were trying to take over this mud ball! They would NOT stand in the way of MY mission, I'd have to see to that..

Lin

After the others left, I couldn't help it. I laughed so hard it hurt. So now I KNEW I was right about the green boy being weird, but I didn't know what to make of the other boy. I mean, he didn't look too surprised over the dog.. Nor did he look to happy with its owner. I guess that means they're probably not working together or anything that would suggest there was more to them than it seemed there was.. Aside from the whole 'talking dog' thing. Phht, magic dog my tail..

Man, that look on Daz's face.. I started laughing again, and then I reached the camp ground. Everyone was milling around absentmindedly, the teachers looking for a way to regain control over the students. Neither of the outcast boys, or Daz, were anywhere to be seen.

The review button is down there. Use it.


	3. Chapter Three: Setting Up Camp

How DID they get acquainted?

Chapter 3: Setting Up Camp

MY GOD, I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!! .;; Not dead, just.. Dormant..? I dunno.. Uh.. Yeah.. .;; Just what you didn't want, another horribly written chapter! If you're reading this, you're probably dying from boredom. Woo. Oh, wait, new info your you. New character view in this chapter, and I'm trying a different tense to see how I like it. Also, I've found that I own almost EVERYONE in this story. HA! u.u The Dib and Zim in here are MY spinoffs of JV's original characters. HURRAH. ..Or not.

Daz

Ugh, god, that was FAR too close.. I swear, as soon as Pur's hyper-mode wears off.. That other boy is probably suspicious now, and I'm pretty damn sure the green one is, at the very least, not normal. Wait, if the green one's an alien, then what about Lin's plans? Which one would take over if I wasn't here? Which one is more of a threat? Is Lin suspicious? Can either of the boys from the other class balance fourteen pencils on their nose at one time? I REALLY need a rival..

Too many questions, not enough answers.. Ms. Bitters yelled at us to find a little clearing for ourselves and set up the tents, which the Skool supplied us with. It was about 7:09pm, and this teacher also said that the Skool would be putting out something in the local paper about this, as well as an article in the skool papers, which meant a photographer was needed. Ms. Kilah and Ms. Bitters wound up choosing a girl from my class, Poe, for the job. Greeeeat.. Poe is FAR too nosy, in my opinion.. But eh, what the hell, I don't really care.. I'm thinking more about an interesting thought I just had. Does the other boy suspect Lin? Or is he just a retarded fool like the rest of the Skool-kids?

As the teachers began distributing the items, they changed their minds as teachers often do, deciding that we would be assigned spots to set up our things. Great.

Dib

Assigned sleeping areas?! That just figures.. The other teacher, Ms. Kilah, started handing out, or rather, throwing out, tents and with sleeping bags. As I waited in the crowd of kids for her to throw one in my direction, I glanced warily around, wondering where Zim and the two girls were. None of them were in sight. Unfortunately, Ms. Kilah chose that moment to throw a bag and tent at my head. I picked myself off the ground, now the laughing stock of the two classes. Stupid skool-kids, don't they realize I'm trying to SAVE THEM?! Ugh.. Scowling, I picked up the necessities, then looked up as Ms. Kilah went down the list of names. She said we would be in sections of four kids each, spread out over the large camp ground. Not exactly what I would have preferred, but at least I can do some spying. Let's see, I'm going to be on the left side of a girl named Daz, and on the right side of another girl named Lin, according to the list. I listened for Zim's name, and it turned out he would be on the right side of this Daz person. Imagine the irony of THAT, huh? It should be pretty easy to spy on the alien scumbag from my location.

I still don't know who the girls, Daz and Lin, are, though.. I quickly set up my tent, noticing none of the others in the section were present yet. Unzipping the entrance to my one room tent, I sat down on the hard, cool floor of it. I guess I'll just wait for Zim and the rest of my section-members to arrive, so I can see who the girls are. Hope they aren't cheerleaders..

Zim

Do these monkeys really expect the great ZIIIM to use such primitive methods and equipment for protection and sleeping quarters?! Pathetic, really.. I dragged the "supplies" to the section in which I would reside in, and much to my dismay, the Dib was there. Stuck with him and two other moronic human-things I didn't know and didn't wish to know? That does NOT sound like it would allow me to do something productive.. It's a good thing the Almighty Tallest chose ME to conquer such a planet; No OTHER invader would be able to complete or be worthy enough of TRYING to complete such a task. After many tries at putting together this "tent", with no help from Gir, who kept knocking it over as he ran into the side of it repeatedly, I entered the one room dwelling, and sat, waiting to see who the other section-humans were, and what I'd be stuck with. 

Lin

Great, stuck with Daz and her little robot thing. AGAIN. I mean, it's just so unbearably typical and cliché..

[::shakes fist down at Lin:: SHUT UP! .O **YOU** TRY WRITING A STORY SOMETIME! Bitch..]

I'm also in the same section as two other kids from Ms. Bitters' class. They better not annoy me TOO much, whoever they are.. Not if they ever want to see the light of day again. Maybe I can sneak off out of this "assigned sleeping area" and, hell, climb a tree, or dig a whole, or beat my head repeatedly on the nearest rock or SOMETHING more preferable than spending the weekend with DAZ and a pair of MORONS.. Ugh..

Poe

I can't believe they chose ME to be the photographer! I LOVE photography, both as a style of art and as a form of entertainment! I took the camera from Ms. Kilah with a pleased grin.

"You have access to as many cameras as you'll need. Come to either Ms. Bitters or myself when you need another." She scowled.

I nodded, beaming, and rushed off to set up my little tent, blatantly ignoring the two stoners I was in a section with as I did so, but pausing a moment to nod a greeting to my friend Idd, who nodded back as he adjusted his shades. Once finished, I sat myself inside the little area, removing my large, old fashioned, black funeral-hat. Dragging a brush through my shoulder-length, black, rather spiky hair a few times, I thought carefully about my new responsibility as the photographer. Setting down the brush, I picked up the camera, turning it over in my hands a few times.

I knew I would have to take pictures of interesting things.. Things that would MEAN something.. Not just random things that any old photographer could get.. No.. My pictures would be special.. And dear GOD, I would have to be sure Marrisa, the stupid girl who was always following, copying, and trying to be like me, kept the HELL away from me.. It was torture, the bus-ride here, when she dragged me over to a seat next to her and proceeded to nearly talk my ears off about god knows what.

A sly grin formed on my face, as I thought suddenly of the class outcasts, one of which I would be, if people would stop trying to be like me.. Daz and Lin, I noticed they met two boys from the other class, also outcasts I guessed. Yes, they'd be PERFECT.. I can capture either the beginning of beautiful friendships, or horrible enemies made.. Or BOTH!! All I have to do is ditch that airhead Marrisa, and sneak to the next section down, where I remember Daz, Lin, and the kids from the other class have been assigned.. YES! This is EXCELLENT!

Mentally congratulating myself on an excellent idea, I quickly snuck out of my tent, camera clutched to my chest. 7:15pm on the first day, and I already have my entire weekend of photography pretty much planned..

Yae, another pointless chapter. ::fake enthusiasm:: WOOO. Review it or else.


End file.
